Parenting Help
Understanding Intense, Sensitive Children | LEADING EDGE PARENTING
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Thank you so much for posting this video! I watched the whole thing with intensity and got so much out of it. I have an 11 year old daughter who with out a doubt is intense, sensitive, intuitive and freedom seeking. She's been that way since birth. She's a twin and her brother is the complete opposite. As she gets older, I find myself getting more and more frustrated with her and not understanding her. Your video shed so much light on what's going on. Thank you!
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I have an easy going teen, then as mentioned i have an intense hardwired 8 y old that makes everything the total opposite f one another who is sensitve to noises lights but has to sleep with all lights on etc. He has sensitivies to p much everything. Plus w a new baby; now at 7 months and beg to show signs of also being a sensitive might be bc of the exposure of the middle child and the majority of the intense meltdowns he has in frnt on her that she can sense. its very challenging on the course of it being that its daily. the screaming hollering and expssing what he wants by hgh demands makes it tough to deal with when im not an expert to know how to deal with it so im easily frustrated. i feel sometimes the mid child shows signs of being possessed and alike in those ways of symptoms and being a hsc as well i tend to feel alot more stressed/drained of all energies. im looking for advice and supports in seeking ways to develop the negative behavior to help him change the outbursts temperal behavior he regularly has on a daily basis. somone suggested to change a diet and not exuming gluten etc he does love veggies and likes to eat them raw.
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Good, Good, GOOD!! great video I wish we had this info in the 50's lol but seriously…
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Thank you so much. Amazing! I feel so validated!
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A really great point of view and so accurate for Highly Sensitive Children. I remember when my first child was just a couple of months old and had colic really bad. Every day at 4:30 pm she would start fussing. After several Dr's visits that determined there was no illness, we determined it might be because I was emotionally and physically getting ready for her dad to come home from work. Preparing dinner, cleaning up a bit etc. When I gave up the stress of having a clean house her colic disappeared.
When she was older she would have a low grade fever every Monday morning. Applying the same lesson I learned when she was younger, we slowed down our activities on the weekends so she would not be overwhelmed and exhausted on Monday.
Now she has a Highly Sensitive child and has to learn how to help her.
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You are two very intelligent and intuitive women. In two weeks my daughter's family will be leaving the military from Italy and moving in with us. Their 6 year old has been diagnosed with ADHD and has just starts taking Concerta. I also realized that all of her drama comes from being extremely sensitive and her perceptions of how others are reacting to her is really the most apparent. I love her mom's story about being in the grocery store and our little drama queen sobbed and wailed saying, "There all staring at me!" He mom replied, "That's because you've been screaming for the last 5 minutes!" At age 6 understanding the consequences to our actions is still abstract especially for her because she has a delay in processing what is said to her. I saw this early on that communication issues were frustrating and lead to meltdowns. I am an RN with certification in developmental disabilities and am really glad I have this background. We're in for a new adventure for sure!
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Thank you for this ❤️
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what an excellent information. Wish i had this 25 years ago. thank you very much for this for other parents.
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Thank you for this video. Its helped me quite a bit with how to further frame my understanding of my 2.5yr old daughter''s developing struggles and feelings, so thank you for that. I will say, however, my wife and I still haven't found an affective way to help her cope. Ive essentially tried everything: Giving lots of positive attention, giving choices, being supportive, redirection, giving rewards, giving positive reinforcement, being firm, giving boundaries, keeping a regime, easing transition with the aid of a timer, even taking toys away if she misbehaves. It is always a struggle. Even doing things she wants to do is like pulling teeth. As a result of the battles, Ive opted to help give her labels to her emotions, so she can recognize them and hopefully learn to regulate herself when she gets to the age where she can do that. While some of what Ive tried has worked at times, it seems there is very little room for latitude in her daily life without her going off the rails. She has hit the terrible twos like a Olympic athlete.
She is very advanced for her age and has surprised many people when Ive mentioned her age to them. Some have thought she was 4 when she's talked with them. She spoke early and has quite a good grasp of english, counted to 30 at 20 months, has a heightened level of empathy. But with all these wonderful attributes the accompanying struggles cant be good for her. My concern now is that Im beginning to see defiant behaviour creeping up and Im unable to curb it. Im honestly not sure what to do at this point.
Anyways rant over… Sigh
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Extremely helpful, I especially took notice and really appreciate the amazing virtue that Melissa had in the video in terms of her nature. Here is what I mean; she was very respectful while her mother was speaking, she did not interrupt, she has a good listener, patient and comfortable within that state. A virtue I would always love to have in my life however could never seem to master. Somehow I just can't keep myself from talking and talking over people and thinking about what I'm going to say while other people are speaking to me.
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Hi, As a empath, lightworker, and HSP you would think I wuda had no issue's parenting w my HS boy, He reacts great to my intense loving way but when I have to correct him or teach him, Its ww3 and I feel like shit about it, u got me wondering maybe he's picking up my energy, which is fustration, since day 1 of discipling when he was young he swore his dad or I were angry at him, WHICH IS NOT HOW WE FELT, It was always fustration, even sadness…..omg he hates to be told what to do, he hates school rules, ( he saids they are mean and I kno they mite not be that mean or screaming but thats how he absorbs it, but my child FEELS THAT and i contact the schools bout it n speak to teachers) (and u jus made me realize mayb he can read their real INTENT cus he is very picky w who he gives his time too he has to connect if not, he choses himself over fakeness or mean kids) His teachers really mess up his hole being it effects our happy home life and then raises issues that we ddnt even have ( which is where alot of our problems at home did stem from) cus his behaviors towards me from his rough day, and the manipulating thing ive actually almost let my husband convince me he was doing that, but Id always go back to "im telling you he's very sensitive, he needs to completely cared for w kindness n love" but even I wud lose my way and then think sometimes but its my job to make my child to know things arnt gona go his way and then go back to I need to let him understand and be able to handle it when it happenes.. and I always did what he wanted, if he saw a tree on the way leaving somewhere id let him climb it, i let him feel the world not jus see it, then im thinking its my fault i spoiled him, thats why he's all about him.. and i did learn to stay soft spoken and not lose control and let my voice get loud which has made great ways these past few yrs, and now I even do what i used to which is kneel down so that im looking up at him and he dont feel intimidated… so the struggle now, has been trying to get him to express his feelings, cus ive known for very long that this was steming from ( all of our problems beside not likeing rules or being told what to do) his struggling w saying whats going on eternally, but i still cant get him to tell me why or how he is feeling… setting him off that was what we used to struggle w to kids setting him off on purpose, I wud let those kids how I felt about that and thats no way real friends treat each other and id never let him do that to him….. i was guilty of "buddy u gota learn to let some things go" and i stopped that… but VERY GUILTY all these things i kno and learned, me being a HSP myself have still reacted to his reactions.. I have always giving my son "warnings" a hour away, he buddy 30 minutes left b4 bed time, 10 min, 5 and then the last 2minutes.. thats has been great for our life we've always done that, my biggest problem is getting my poor boy to be able to express his emotions and i dnt wana go backwards, routines sun-thurs for school has always been helpful and then we gve him "his way" fri nite sat nite, school yr vaca's n summer vaca.. also right on the bossing if i needed to say, Ill beat you to the car, ill get my shoes on faster than you ALWAYS ALWAYS WORKED N STILL DOES AND HE'S 10YO …….. if anyone has a idea how to help me help my child to get his emotions out verbally id apprieate that, and hopefully ive been able to have some insite on what these AMAZING LADIES ARE SAYING CUS IM BACKING UP WHAT THEY ARE SAYING W MY OWN EXPERIENCE…..
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Im so glad ur speaking of the "teacher and school issues" my son's 2nd and 4th grade year brought hell to my house, and I kno it is what he's feeling w his teachers and they negatively affected him and i always validated it and proving myself to my child by telling his father, if he struggles w in the first 3months of 5th grade im taking him out, ill homeschool or online school.. I noticed my child had "heart" when he was 2 1/2 when his cousin died and he'd fall asleep watching the video's made of her life, that moment of seeing his heart was the 2nd greatest day of my life followed by his birth, u cant teach heart, u cant pass it on……… ur only born w it… thank u ladies me writing all this has, made me stop beating myself which i do at times, and made me realize all the amazing things i did do and do do based on knowing he's sensitive, im so busy worrying where did i mess up at the times he struggles thinking why, we are so close, so alike, but i still cant get him to express his emotion at that moment…. when really that is my last hurdle and really our family has come so far and overcome so much as a unit w his sensitivity……. thank you
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