Parenting Help
Narcissistic Parenting, Emotional Incest, and Complex-PTSD #SurvivorStories
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This is dark
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helps me breathe! i think i got more of this video than weeks and months of watching some others, not to say the others aren't good, they are, they help talk about it.
but, yes, i am ok,
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My mother .?
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It was horrifying for me to grow up I struggle with post-traumatic stress disorder I got pregnant at an early age I kind of did it on purpose I was raised by my grandparents that was the only comfort I had I lost my grandpa Jack of cancer when I was 9 years old he pretty much as my father figure I still remember him when I was three and a half years old I suffered and suffered and suffered and still do but I wake up everyday and I look in my little girl's eyes knowing that I have to live for her she saved my life my nine-year-old I have suffered so severely I don't think Society owes me anything but I know that I have to do this on my own and that God is there he's always there and I am a survivor I made it I made it I'm crying it's hard for me to grasp onto because I think about the tear that woman put me through and I don't understand why? I was such a beautiful little girl I was such a beautiful child I was so frail and little she used to starve me I don't even want to get into it thank God for my grandparents and thank God for my step-mom my dad was kind of there but he was working all the time it's very hard for me to talk to her my mother and I used to tell everybody she's dead dead to me but I know I have to forgive her. It hurts because she won't admit what she's done and honestly I think she's that ate up she doesn't even realize it. I think to myself and I tell God I came from a person like that how can a person like me with such a big heart come from someone like that and she plays with my emotions and says oh I miss my red headed little girl I'm not a little girl anymore mother you had your chance and it brings tears to my eyes because she plays with my heart because she knows my heart is big and she knows I'm forgiving I pretty much forgive all my enemies that have hurt me all of my life I was taught you have to forgive them no matter what and there are consequences to your actions I get that but I'm a very forgiving loving and loyal person and it makes it hard sometimes in society. I have so much compassion and she never had any keep the faith I have to go this is too emotional in the music's making me sick to my stomach. ???
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I remember I had a parakeet bird named Little Nicky when I was little and she let it fly out the window to break my heart and that bird loved my mom to and it would talk. I raised my other sister on my own for almost 4 years she is 33 now and I am 36. she would go out and party and leave us home alone I have two other sisters but they are okay my sister Kelsey and my sister Tiffany same dad's but not say moms. my sister Tiffany wants to get away from her so bad and she's so lucky she remarried a rich man and she has everything my mom and I just don't understand how God could give her such things she doesn't deserve it. If she doesn't repent one day she will pay she just won't say I'm sorry Amber I'm sorry that's all I want to hear I need closure and I am the type of person if someone hurts me I need an apology and I need closure and I'm more than willing to say I'm sorry too if I know in my heart that I did wrong but this is on her not me I carry my heart on my sleeve it's pretty darn big keep the faith. I look into my little Daughter's Eyes she's nine years old and I can't imagine doing those things to her I can't comprehend it it actually has made me be a better mom and she tries to down me as a mother I really am a good mother and I'm so proud of my nine-year-old she's come a long way and I'm kind of continue to be a good mother.
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It's funny (or sad). When a child they steal your childhood and as an adult they try and steal your adulthood. Wait a minute…. these demons just try to steal life from their targets. Don't let them. Go no contact. In fact as soon as you have a feeling to run away and can make a living doing something that is in line with your moral compass do it and establish healthy boundaries. You do not owe anyone anything just because they gave birth to you. Stop feeling guilty saying no or obligated to say yes (especially to someone who lusts to see you fail or dead (which they will when you are finally onto who they truly are and you no longer serve as narcissistic supply to them).
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What is the music of this video (back ground music) it is so soothing
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I went through this in my childhood. I was BOTH the scapegoat AND the "Golden Child".
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I'm at work bawling . Thank you so much . I worry every day about being a good mom because of my parents
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It can be the same sex child being used as confident.
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Confident/therapist
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Confident wish I had spell check.
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i had one narc mom who married some man who was also a narc. so i had practically no to very little childhood. I felt robbed of my childhood. Like i had to be a parent to my parents who looked helpless , and drowning in their addictions. they seemed unable to be parents. gradually i was given more and more tasks and i took them on, hoping and thinking that it might be a way for me to be loved, if I performed and did way more than i should have. I did feel honored that i was treated like an adult, but little did i know that it was exploitation and using me to fill their needs. Mom's narc ex especially was using me to fill his emotional needs, to tell me everything, confide in me. After a while, i realized that i didn t get this wonderful , loving childhood and I was really mad. now i realized i want my childhood back and i tried reliving it for a while, letting go of responsibility and enjoying life as a child, as i should have :). I am healing myself, loving myself.
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Thank you
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This is a wonderful video. But I'll have to disagree with the part about children who suffer this abuse usually become covert narcissists themselves. I'm an empath (and empaths r usually the only ones who put up with this treatment and why we r targeted in the first place) — it's impossible for an empath to have NPD characteristics no matter the abuse. We continue to give and please throughout our adulthood. We marry narcissists and continue to suffer. We turn the hatred inward and develop C-PTSD …. we become depressed and suicidal but we don't become narcissists.
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Some very good insights in one short video, thank you!
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I have learned something from this video that has been a great big help to me thank you so much for making it ❤
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Yeah, I was the scapegoat from age 5, and BIG time from 8 on… No childhood, huge problems all my life. But I got over it… took decades, but I got over it.
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The mother and son? That's not the only situation.
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Children. Are here to take care of their parents. That's how it is.
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If you can earn a living wage and survive – amazing! (People have no idea how serious this is.)
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"family values" (the most TOXIC phrase I can imagine!)
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This happened to my ex narc. He was his mother’s caretaker from the time he was a child when his father walked off and left them never to be heard from again. I’ve gone no contact for almost a month now realizing that this person can never love or be helped. He’s enmeshed with his now deceased mother and probably hates women on a subconscious level and is a covert narc the most dangerous of all.
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Thank you ❤
You are an amazing human being
And your strength and Truth
Is undeniable
I made a breakthrough today watching this video ?
Keep on Shining Wakeman
So bright It dose nothing but blind demons
Your helping the world right now
And Me ❤
I said this earlier and I can say it a million more times
(THANK YOU)
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6:00 friends with peers, I always get along with people older than me, even as a child
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All these stories about the same after 37 years of being the black sheep i decided i had enough and cut off all blood relations and i am finally free. My anger is mainly about how much the child me suffered i moved 1200 miles away to get away from the demons in human garb. Coming from a culture where you revere your elders made it especially hard. God never leaves you unprotected. My grandmother filled the role my mother could not and my best friend kept me sane in my youth. Please be very aware that once they realize they can't no longer control you they will have no issue harming you. Still healing and i hope everyone of you find the strenght to heal also. Go no contact they can't change. You are 100 times stronger than you think once you truly find the god in you…heal break the cycle
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I think you handled that quite well! Sounds a lot like my mom:( I'm 48 years old and just found out through therapy that my mom is narsasistic. I never knew. Now, looking back through my life, I realize that I was shamed, dismissed, judged and be little all my life. I'm to the point where I don't like my mom. She's such a Bitch! It sucks but It's amazing what therapy does. I hope you're doing well but if your not, maybe you could look for someone to talk to. Trust me when I say, I've tried to kill myself 3 different times. Thank God, I didn't succeed. Narsasistic Abuse is really bad for anyone to go through. You seem like a nice and sweet young lady with a good head on your shoulder. I feel you will make the right decision if needed. Good luck and hang in there girlfriend!
Sincerely,
Devon
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I am 17 years old and I self diagnosed myself as having cptsd. as far as feelings and what I can remember go like, I have been living like this for my entire life. I was born into a very religious family, not knowing that my father was a very malignant narcissist and my mother a codependent, probably with some borderline tendencies, for 16 years of my life. I am completely stuck at this point in my life. I cannot progress forward. I have been practicing mindfulness , meditation , affirmations, emotional literacy, internal dialogue for months but every time I edge closer, I’ll get maybe half a day where I can relieve some of these symptoms, these death like feelings, all it takes is a couple emotional flashbacks to send me back to square 1. Back to feeling like I am on my deathbed, with every horrible feeling possible to feel crushing my chest. I cannot function, cannot live. Everywhere I go, everything I do reminds me of intense pain. Traumas that happened over a decade ago still haunt me. I still cannot get over the long string of emotional trauma my life has been. The hurt of my childhood and all the painful memories of my father follow me. Trying to connect with others leaves me feeling rejected, abandoned, hopeless. I don’t feel like I can remember my traumas very well. Some moments stick out but I find myself remembering more and more by the day the more I try to piece together the puzzle. I don’t know who I am. I have no sense of identity. I feel like My character that I project is made of many broken pieces of myself, fragmented notions of identity. My memories are fragmented. Random things In everyday life I can look at and will remind me of something from my childhood easily over a decade ago. I feel no sense of familiarity when I look in the mirror. I constantly feel like I am living the last moment of my life each moment. I feel dread and guilt and shame everywhere. I feel completely disconnected and alienated from everyone else. I have ‘friends’ but they do not know any of this. I try my best to function everyday but it’s debilitating. I am at college full time and I have become a master and pretending like everything is okay and projecting this. I have very poor concentration, extreme brain fog, very stif and tense muscles etc etc. Funny thing is People have even mentioned that I seem noticeably happy and content. As if my symptoms aren’t debilitating enough, my environment and my life in general don’t help. my entire family is highly dysfunctional and abusive, and its crazy to realise this only recently, thinking that my family was normal for so long as I have been conditioned to. I am almost certain most of the people in my family including extended family suffer from sort of mental illness. I don’t live with my parents any more as they kicked me out shortly after I realised the dynamic of the household. I grey rocked my father and I protested all the neglect and the abuse in the household until my codependent mother began worrying as she realised I was catching on to my father. she is so in love with him that she did everything she could to hide all his issues. she began over compensating on shopping after I would make note of how he would ‘forget’ very basic things repeatedly even after being reminded time and time again, or she would outright lie to my face about things I heard my father had said behind my back. i believe she is a loving woman but my dad drove her crazy. I still have very painful memories from all the physical abuse and neglect she bestowed on me when I was young but I realise she was in her intense pain from her own childhood and because of the covert abuse of my father but I am willing to forgive her. In fact I have already forgiven her for everything, even though right now I live with my auntie who’s household is also very dysfunctional. I now live as quite poor, not something I am not used to, but now it is even worse. I struggle to travel to college everyday because of money, struggle to keep myself fed and hydrated. Struggle to keep myself sane by the end of the day . Basically im trying to finish a levels at college while suffering and trying to relieve a severe mental disorder while living in a Dysfunctional household, being retraumatised daily, being poor as fuck also while trying to keep a social life and a mask of normalcy. I feel like i haven’t done my story justice in the slightest but I wanted to at least get something out there.. maybe there’s someone going thru something similar but honestly idk anymore
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????❤️?
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I was raised by narcissistic parents and I always knew something was wrong, but I could not identify what it was other than I carried a profound sense of guilt with me almost my entire life. In the early 90's I met and married my wife who was also raised by a very controlling and narcissistic mother. My wife and I were like good therapy for each other and we helped each other to heal without any type of counseling. We both decided to move far away from our families and that was the best decision we ever made! We are both still recovering and these Youtube videos are very amazing to us because as we learn more about narcissism, the more we learn that things were not our fault. The weight of our childhood is slowly being lifted off from us. Healing has taken more than 25 years, but at least we are healing.
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Family values everybody! You graduate your family only to be tormented by the mental health community. Happy Mother's Day! Motherhood is a psycho social fashion statement.
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So many years later . . . I can see clearly now. Thank you Jesus.
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wow thank you god. i am so glad i came across this video. now i know what the term is for being my PARENT’S THERAPIST: emotional incest!
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My dad did that to me. It's really abusive. My dad is truly a narcissist.
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thank you for this.
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I'm glad I found this video. In the past few years I was with my mother, I was forced into that parenting role as described. I was forced to have to listen to HER problems, clean up after HER, do the grocery shopping with barely any money because most of it was spent on either gas or cigarettes or both, being yelled at when the food I could afford wasn't up to HER standards. I could go on and on but the point is that I had a mother who had neglected my emotions and made me feel guilty whenever I tried to say something or express myself.
Growing up, I could always feel like something wasn't right. I didn't know what it was but now I do. I was the victim of narcissistic abuse. I have CPTSD that stems from the manipulation, emotional incest, and abuse that has been inflicted upon me. I also struggled to find my sense of identity, now I have a better idea of who I am. Point is, I grew up with a very manipulative mother, it sucked, I was always made to feel guilty about something. It made no sense. Now looking back, it does.
Glad I watched this video. Very helpful.
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I played this video and my sister left the room. Wow
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Thank God. I'm not insane.
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My narcissistic mother homeschooled my two brothers and I, and I have CPTSD now because of extreme enmeshment and covert incest. No boundaries. So many family secrets. We were basically there to comfort and care for my mother 24/7 with no reprieve. My NM is an empty shell without one of us children for her to smother. She pouts and guilts and even threatens leaving or attempting suicide. She is petty and childish. I am glad I’m No Contact… But I don’t know how to get out of this mental prison. I spent my entire life trying to be a good daughter and now realizing my whole life was a lie, I don’t know how to experience freedom. I feel so full of shame and toxic guilt.
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Everyone on here that has suffered emotional incest/ parentification..
please report this video from Cosmopolitan magazine on youtube!
It encourages grown women to talk to very little children about their relationship problems!
People in the comment section think it is cute! I've already reported it as normalising child emotional abuse and that it encourages sexual grooming of children. Thanks.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=udSaSDYGMOY
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Elune adore <3
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this video helps the survivors of this type of narcissism to understand their emotional struggle…this puts a name to the stigma…now they know there is a name for what they have been through…they are not alone…others have gone through this cycle and some are going through it right now… there is hope…
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