They have zero understanding of consequences. But they have 100 percent understanding of appreciation and center their mentality on what feels right rather than what is right.

So you have to model their behavior by making it feel right to them when they do the right thing and feel wrong when they do the wrong thing. Don't punish them, because then you center it on being around you that feels bad rather than the act it self. Make the act the center of attention rather than themselves and model their behavior by reinforcing your expectations of what you want rather than what you don't want.

This is how you deal with teenagers. As for children, punishment works much better so long as it is positive and negative, while being used to model behavior rather than neglect the interests of the children. Children act based on their needs and when they cannot receive their needs, they react more to get what they need. They don't tell you want they need, because they don't even know what they need. Instead, if you have observe them and ask them. Also ask children including teenagers what they are doing and what are they trying to do and why or what reason they are doing it for.

This is hard to expect an adult to carry out as we reach a certain point of expertise in our refined knowledge and assume we know what is best and how to do what is best. So even as adults, we have similar hiccups.

Lastly, if they are seemingly doing something annoying to you because they are bored, then give them something to do. Homework, choirs, whatever it is that consumes their time and utilize positive reinforcement so they can think of what they are assigned is positive. Thumbs up works, hand shake works, hug (if appropriate) works, high five works or simply note your appreciation through a compliment to boast their self-esteem. If they refuse, then you have a one-on-one conversation to explain their annoying behavior as annoying and how their boredom can be remedied through your expectations, in which you offer positive reinforcement when they do the right thing and negative reinforcement when they do the wrong thing.

Also when noting behavior you don't want:

1) Kindly ask them to do something that would refrain them from what they are doing. Teen out of his seat. Ask him to kindly to return to his seat and offer him work or redirect his focus so he is on task.

2) If you see the same behavior again, then direct the conversation upon your expectations.

3) If the child refuses, then have a one-one conversation allowing the child to explain his or her behavior and help model understanding of behavior based on questions rather than accusations. Never accuse a child of anything, because they will react to it.

I wrote the following meditation on "unconditional appreciation" with u and Haley and Phoenix in mind: http://breatheheartfulness.com/?p=908&preview=true –check it out.

Enjoy my heartful friends!