Every emotion a child experiences is valid. An extreme reaction is appropriate.

React by kneeling down and showing empathy: “I know honey, it’s OK to feel upset. I feel the exact same way when I want something that I don’t feel l ike I can have”.

Encourage the child to express verbally how they feel or where they feel the feeling in their body.

With this you allow them to have feelings and not suppress them, allow them to move through the feeling, cause them to know that no matter what you will be there for them and with them through everything, they are not alone.

The result is an emotionally intelligent child.

Note that you are not rushing to make the emotion better by giving the child what he was asking for, we did not try to rescue them from their emotions so we avoid causing them to believe emotions are bad, wrong, to be avoided. You also do not give in and buy what they want, become a doormat, the child did not become a dictator who everyone is a slave to. Instead the child is treated as an equal member of the household, equal to adults.

It is OK to explain the child that as a parent you also have shortcomings, that you might not know the answer, that you are not Gods. Show them process of going looking for the answer, to learning. Encourage that someday they might found out the answer themselves.

Mirroring the emotion: empathize with how they feel and express how you recognize how tht feels, that it is ok to feel that way, that you felt that same way once, that anyone would feel that way. The result is that a child does not fight against a negative emotion and so it blows over quickly.

DO NOT shame your child. Example: the child does not want to go to bed. You warn them of the potential consequence (feeling tired the next day). Let them find this out for themselves.