That's how I got depression. I wish they know I'm suffering from depression and I wish they watch this!??
]]>I’ve ended up with a lot a problems because of this.
I feel comfortable saying that my counselor tested me for a few things and my guilt was at a higher level than both my anxiety and depression. Both of which are DISORDERS I have. Disorders. They’re out of whack bad. And for my guilt to be worse than those isn’t the best news.
I’ve ended up feeling that I can’t do anything, say anything, that I don’t deserve anything, and that I’m just here to be a scapegoat for past mistakes. I feel like a burden. It’s very unhealthy. I’m afraid to talk, interact with people or even go outside because I feel like I’m being judged by everyone around me (which is almost definitely not true). I’m paranoid of what will happen if I don’t please my parents. I can’t talk to them about personal issues or things I’m dealing with mentally because it’s always “my fault” and I should just “forget about it and move on”
I need to be their “perfect little angel”
Once I tried standing up for myself my dad got angry with me and said something like “I don’t like this new you. Why aren’t you like you used to be?” (Cough cough a pushover cough cough)
I’m not even sure this is he right place to talk about stuff like this but…it feels good to get this out there.
I may delete this comment later.
]]>It’s really quite pathetic of me…
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